NWA Mexico's The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

[Deleted]

(Ultimo Guerrero meets Diamante Azul at the gym for his first training session. Eiko Koike is present wearing sweats.)

Guerrero - Azul, you made the right choice by deciding to join us. I've found that it's always best to train two people at a time so Eiko will be the second student.

Azul - I can't wrestle a woman!

Guerrero - You will if you want me to train you.

Eiko - It's OK, Azul. I trained in Judo when I was in Japan.

Azul - Alright. What's our first lesson?

Ultimo Guerrero - Well, first of all you need to learn how to take your opponent to the mat and take a fall.

Azul - That's something I already know how to do!

Guerrero - Oh yeah? (He nods to Eiko. She does a legsweep and takes Azul to the floor mat.)

Azul - Hey! I said that I didn't want to wrestle a woman! Besides, I didn't see it coming!

Ultimo Guerrero - Stop making excuses. You need to be ready at all times and learn not to underestimate your opponent.

Azul - Alright. I'll do better next time.

Guerrero - You'd better. I'd hate to see you get beaten by a woman!

(After training for several hours, Eiko and Azul are exhausted.)

Ultimo Guerrero - OK, that's enough for today! Hit the showers. (Eiko stands up and walks towards Guerrero.)

Eiko - Wow! This is a lot more strenuous than learning Judo!

Guerrero - Well, you wanted to learn how I do what I do. I'm not going to take it easy on you. If I'm going to train you, I'm going to do it the right way.

Eiko - I wouldn't want it any other way. I'll meet you after I get a shower, OK?

Guerrero - Sure, looking forward to it.

Eiko - What's that supposed to mean?

Guerrero - After a tough session of training, you need to get a massage from me. Clothing is optional.

Eiko - (slapping Guerrero in the face) Oh, Ultimo!

(Eiko leaves the gym to go get a shower and Azul comes out.)

Azul - Wow! You'd think that you two were complete strangers or something.

Ultimo Guerrero - Well, she hasn't seen me without a mask and I haven't seen her without..

Azul - I don't wanna know! It's bad enough that I have to wrestle her!!

[Deleted]

(Eiko Koike called a meeting with the other members of Las Guerreras.)

Eiko - Since you two have succeeded in alienating Amapola, I've decided to add a new member to our group.

Blanca - I hope it's not Lady Apache. Whenever her husband isn't around, she chases after mine!!

Sejei - I can see why he's running from her!!!

Eiko - Let's go to the gym so you can meet her.

(After a short walk, the ladies arrive at the gym. Ultimo Guerrero is showing a masked woman how to do takedowns.)

Sujei - Eiko, you haven't even married him yet and he's grabbing another woman!

Eiko - No, that's his student and our newest member, La Seductora!

Blanca - She had better not be a husband chaser!

Sujei - I'll knock her into next week if she comes after mine.

(Ultimo Guerrero finishes his training session with La Seductora and they walk to talk with Las Guerreras.)

Eiko - Seductora, meet Princessas Blanca and Sujei.

Sujei - I will be the Empress soon when I take my precious back. Don't worry, my precious, momma's going to rescue you soon!

Seductora - She seems to be one can short of a six pack.

Eiko - Be that as it may, she's the top contender for the Mexican Women's belt.

Blanca - Welcome aboard, Seductora! I think we'll get along just fine. If Eiko likes you, that's good enough for me!

[Deleted]

(As Eiko and Ultimo Guerrero are talking with Las Guerreras, Diamante Azul walks into the gym in his street clothes. Ultimo Guerrero walks towards him.)

Ultimo Guerrero - Where have you been? You show up late and don't even have your workout clothes with you!

Diamante Azul - Sorry about that. I was going to call you but I figured that it would be better to tell you in person.

Guerrero - Tell me what?

Azul - Well, after talking with Shocker, I've decided to stop training with you and pass up on the offer to join "Los Guerreros",

Guerrero - Black Warrior tried to tell me that you'd pull something like this. I guess he as right.

(Ultimo Guerrero lunges at Diamante Azul and takes him to the mat. He's gets his hands round Azul's throat and then releases his grip.)

Guerrero - I could have strangled you to death but that would be too good for you. You've got a match against Averno, Mephisto and Black Warrior in less than two weeks. You'd better get a couple of partners with strong stomachs because it's gonna be a bloodbath!

(Ultimo Guerrero lets Diamante Azul get up. Azul walks out of the door.)

Guerrero - What are you guys staring at? Nothing happened so get back to your workouts!

(Eiko walks towards Guerrero and puts her hand on his shoulder.)

Eiko - What was that all about?

Guerrero - Black Warrior was right, Azul's nothing but a two bit punk! Our allies are going to deal with him in the ring.

Eiko - Now that's settled, take me home.

Guerrero - To your place or mine?

Eiko - Mine. You already know that we're going to live separately until we get married.

Guerrero - I guess it didn't hurt to ask. You didn't slap me this time.

[Deleted]

Princesa Sujei sees Amazing Kong and MsChif both wearing NWA World Women's title belts coming towards her while on the other side, she sees Ayumi Kurihara and Estrellita both wearing NWA Mexican Women's title belts. She fights Ayumi and Estrellita to get their title belts but is overwhelmed by her opp-onents.

Sujei - NOOOO! My Precious! Come back to momma!!

Venum II - Sujei, wake up! It's just another nightmare!

Sujei - NOOO! My Precious! My Precious!

(Venum II calls Eiko with his cellphone.)

Eiko - (waking up) Who is this?

Venum II - You've got to cancel Sujei's return match. She still having nightmares.

Eiko - I can't do that. She's our only chance to regain the title.

Venum - Then I have no choice but to admit her to a mental hospital.

Eiko - You can't do that! She has a qualifying match for the Queen's Cup tournament.

Venum II- I realize that. If she doesn't get help for her condition, then she'll be in condition to compete in any match.

Eiko - Alright. I know of a psychiatrist that will begin treatment and even go to Hong Kong with her. I assure you, she'll be in safe hands.

Venum II - She had better be or you'll hear from my lawyer.

Eiko - Understood. I won't let it come to that.

Venum II - Tell his contact information so I can make an appointment.

Eiko - I know him well so I'll have him contact you. He's suspicious of new patients since an unpleasant incident. He's the best in the business.

[Deleted]

(Princesa Sujei is in Dr. Virus' office. He's checking her vital signs. Eiko enters the room.)

Eiko - So how's she doing, Doctor?

Dr. Virus - Not too good I'm afraid.

Eiko - What's the problem?

Dr. Virus - Your question should be "What isn't wrong with her?". She hasn't eaten or slept since her rematch for the Mexican Women's Championship. She's been violent towards the staff members. She's headed for solitary confinement as this rate.

(Sujei grabs some medical tubing and tries to strangle Dr. Virus with it.)

Sujei - My Precious! My Precious! What have you done with her???

(Toma Tonga and Polvora enter the room and make Sujei release the tubing. Dr, virus gets up and starts shouting.)

Dr. Virus - take her to the rubber room and put her in a straight jacket!!!

(Tonga and Polvora grabs Sujei kicking a screaming. Eiko helps Dr. Virus get to his feet.)

Eiko - Are you OK? I'm sorry but I didn't have any idea that she would become such a hard patient to work with.]

Dr. Virus - Don't you worry about it. When we're done with her, she'll never be the same!

Eiko - Oh, dear!

[Deleted]

(Ultimo Guerrero had a secret meeting with Black Warrior,)

Black Warrior - So do you think Namajague bought it?

Ultimo Guerrero - Yeah, he has no idea that we're setting him up.

Black Warrior - So all I need to do is make sure that he doesn't make it to the next televised show and then I'll take his place in the trios championship match?

Ultimo Guerrero - Exactly. I'll invite him to train with us the night before the championship match. Just make sure he's out of commission and that there are no witnesses. This is just between you and me. I don't care what methods you use. I don't trust the guy anymore than I'd trust Terrible. Namajague just an easier target.

Black Warrior - I'm going to enjoy this.....

[Deleted]

(Ultimo Guerrero calls Eiko on the phone after he sees that she's going to manage the Japanese team in the next NWAMEX card.)

Guerrero - Hey, Eiko. What's going on?

Eiko - Why do you care? You asked me to marry you and still refuse to let me see your face! And you still expecting me to put out before marriage? How can I trust you?

Guerrero - Hey, wait a minute! So all of this is about our relationship?

Eiko - Ultimo, you are so clueless! You are such a bigot! You verbally bash and physically brutalize Japanese and just expect me not to say anything about it? Don't ever bother calling me again! (Eiko turns off her cellphone.)

(Ultimo Guerero sshakes his head and he closes his cellack Warrior enters the room.)

Black Warrior - What's up, Ultimo?

Guerrero - Nothing!

Black Warrior - C'mon. We've known each other for so long that I can tell when you're upset about something.

Guerrero - Yeah, it's just that I can't understand Eiko. She's treating me like I'm her enemy.

Black Warrior - Just as I told you from the beginning of the Mexican contra Japanese feud. You needed to choose her or wrestling. As long as you're a wrestler, she'd just expect you to side with her people. When you didn't she went nuts.

Guerrero - Yeah, You did try to warn me. What was I thinking?

Black Warrior - Well, it's nothing that getting so drunk that you don't remember how you woke up at another women's house won't fix! Let's go!

Guerrero - (sighs) Alright, let's get out of here. Heaven help any Japanese that we meet along the way.

Black Warrior - I'm pretty sure that we could jump Namajague if you're up to it.

Guerrero - Yeah, let's do it! Just don't beat on any women, OK?

Black Warrior - Who, me? I wouldn't dream about it!

[Deleted]

(Ultimo Guerrero wears a mask that has bright colors over his cheeks.)

Guerrero - When The Last Warrior told the gods to send me to this planet to beat the forces of evil and liberate all of the young warriors, they kicked The Last Warrior in the face. The Last Warrior fell from the heavens and now he has to power to accomplish all of the things that he needs to set this world aflame! This fire burns in his heart and it will consume all of those who stand in the way of his little warriors. We will overcome the forces of darkness and cast a new light into the world. That light will blind whose who oppose it and open the eyes of the blind. We will not stop until all mankind has at least one dinosaur and can eat all of the roots that they want to! The slugs will consume the bodies of the evil ones and plagues will follow their offspring. The entire world will bow to The Warrior in appreciation of his education to the young! We all will see the world as it is. (The incoherent rambling continuing.)

[Deleted]

(Rey Cometa does a televised appearance wearing the Mexican Light heavyweight Championship belt and gold chains with a padlock on them. He has a box of toothpicks in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other. His hair has so much grease in it that it's dripping to the floor.)

Rey Cometa - (speaking slowly with a fake Cuban accent) Hey, Ray!...Dis is Da Bad Guy with da gold around my waist.....(taking a drink from the bottle) and da gold around my neck....(takes another drink) Dis sweet baby (pointing to the padlock) I got on five finger discount....from da slammer. (a toothpick fall out of his mouth. He drops the box of toothpicks trying to get another one. He takes another drink before he reaches down to put a toothpick in his mouth.). Hey Chico!...Do ya think that you got da balls ta take my gold from me?..(finishes the bottle. He tries to drink more but doesn't notice it's empty. He has a worm in his mouth. ).....Den ya gotta come and get it...(he tries to take another drink and drops the bottle causing it to break)...Where I come from it's not how many bottles ya drink it's how many times ya fall down (He takes the worm out of his mouth and looks at it. He then swallows it whole) ...I's strong like bull...(Rey Cometa staggers and falls down. Aero Star and Laredo Kid appear on screen dressed as Los Angeles Police Officers and slap on the cuffs.)What ya doin'? I'm Da Bad Guy!

Aero Star - Yeah.yeah..tell it to the judge...

Laredo Kid - You'd shut your mouth if you knew who we are!

Rey Cometa - (staggering to his feet) Hey, Chico! Where's yer badgers?

Both Policemen - Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!
(Rey Comata falls down again and the two "policemen" beat him repeatly.)

Rey Cometa - Hey, Ray! Did I tell ya that I'm Da Bad Guy?

Policeman #1- Yes, you did!

Policeman #2 - Shut up!

(They continue to beat him up as the video fades away.)

[Deleted]

(La Sombra appeared for a televised parody segment filmed at a n NWAMEX house show. He's wearing a T-shirt that says "Sombra" on the front and "Who's next?" on the back. The fans start chanting "Sombra!" repeatedly.)

Sombra - I beat 200 nobodies to take this! (pats the Mexican Tag Team title belt) I managed to do more with the limited talent I had than most wrestlers do with in their entire career. I couldn't cut it in the NFL so I figured I could make it in wrestling by making myself look good by taking on all the jobbers and padding my record. With my limited mic skills, I can't think of anything better to say than "Who's Next?".

(The fans continue to chant "Sombra" as he leaves the ring.)